I'm in an odd mood today. I suppose it's to be expected, when you look at my life, but I'm suprised that my emotions are bubbling up right now. Well, not really, I'm in Corren Mode right now. So I'm gonna vent a few things, and post them in the hopes that someone (anyone) I want to see it sees it.
Remember that person I mentioned finally came back after a long, long time? Check my past journals, you'll see him. Anyways, he left again after about two days. And I'm not sure whether he's alive or dead, it's driving me crazy. I also don't know the state any of my other "pen pals" (as I'll refer to them) are okay either, they might have even been the ones to kill him if he's dead. Did I mention that I love him? Yeah, sucks for me, huh? I also recently found out about something that could virtually eliminate all of my little "pen pals" in one fell swoop, and I can't even warn them about it. I found out that I have dual personalities. Not real split personalities like many people, but more like different 'modes', personas, if you will. Anyways, one of them is where I keep all my pent up emotions that I can't experience while in the other, and I haven't been in that mode for the past three years, so I've been even moodier than I ever have before when I'm calling out Corren Mode.(I don't think there's much difference past emotions and attitudes, I'm still mostly the same.) *sigh* I found out that I have a really cool power. I call it Blessing, because it makes other people's powers more powerful (and it might have other effects, I'm still new at this) but, because I can't contact my pen pals, I can't tell them about it or use it to help them. (It works long distance, which is sweet.) Oh, one of my fiends isn't dying anymore. But she thinks she's going insane, and has been really moody, and I can't talk to her and get her out of her funk because her boyfriend is always around her, making out and teasing her, which is only a temporary cure that makes it worse later, especcially because he annoys her a lot when he does it so much. The thing I hate the most is still not being able to contact my "friend" or any of my other pen pals. I don't know what's going on, I don't know if they're okay, I don't know if they're alive or dead, I don't know if they're avoiding me because they have the notion thet they're making me crazy (which they aren't, except when they aren't there for weeks, moths, or years on end) *sigh* I just wish I could speak to them on a regular basis, or maybe move and be able to visit them everyday. I wish I could fix all the problems and misconceptions that there have been, and I wish that none of my friends will have to die or go insane or anything. I just wish for a happy life with happy friends, but I can't get it if I can't even talk to them. I wish they were back...